Originally Posted On beatchuckie.blogspot.com December 13, 2018
Author: Wings
Week 14 in IRL football was wild, which meant that the first round of the fantasy playoffs was absolute bonkers. After literally everyone and their mother decided to jump on the “GG ima lose” train, 4 people ended up actually losing, in fashions from heartbreaking to hilarious.
RECAP- Round One
(1) Joe vs (8) Gio
Gio begins his Cinderella story and knocks off the one seed in a not-so-shocking upset. hahahahahahahahahahahahahah. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This poor bastard has successfully earned the reputation of “chokes vs Joe” after 2 spectacular performances from the former Kareem Hunt and now Amari Cooper absolutely STUN Gio after victory should have been his. The Joe-ggernaut knows no mercy and still finds a way to win, pray for me y’all.
(2) Erik vs (7) Ant
Erik makes up for the fact he is likely getting eliminated in the first round in dynasty and crushes Ant.
I was half right, Erik also ended up pulling off a shocker of an upset after juju rips off a 75 yard catch (before the steelers choke it away on Oakland’s hood grass)
(3) Chuck vs (6) Nauch
Chuck will work his black magic and ironically beat Nauch by 1 point. Poetic Justice.
The black magic is more powerful than I thought, the Rams and 3 Buc strategy was bold, but completely flopped. Thank god at least ONE arrogant bastard is out of the playoffs.
(4) Hurtado vs (5) Wings
GG
If Greg Zurlein doesn’t hit the goalpost on that 40 yard try on SNF, Hurtado beats me by 0.1 POINTS and makes me go into ultimate tilt mode because I started Graham fucking Gano as my kicker. Instead, the fantasy gods FINALLY fucking punish the “Ima lose GG” meme with it backfiring completely. I have vanquished the creator of the curse, but my work is not done.
POWER RANKINGS
1. Chuck
3 years and 3 semifinal appearances. The black magic of Fuck Chuck is already at it again this week as the injury reports seem to continue to go into his favor. Regardless, chuck knows what he’s up against in Erik’s team, and their matchup will prove to be one of the most tilted endings to a fantasy matchup ever.
MAJOR KEY: Just as last week, the Pats are your lifeline that will push you over the edge in what should be a much more difficult matchup.
2. Erik
Erik has a massive task ahead of him this week. Defeat the asshat commissioner in not one, but TWO league semifinals. A lot of pride and a lot of tilt is on the line for Erik this week… both options are equally entertaining.
MAJOR KEY: OBJ’s quad needs to stop playing as many games as Erik does on twitter.
3. Joe
You, just as I, should not be here in the semifinals. We both benefitted from different types of fantasy fuckery to make it to the next round. We’ve also both been saved the embarrassment of a first round exit. Erik and I are the only ones that stand in the way of a Cassidy winning the ship.
MAJOR KEY: If Conner plays, then you have more or less survived your biggest challenge to the title and should return to business as usual.
4. Wings
I never thought I’d make it this far, mane. This is my first semifinal appearance in any league in 3 years so It’s nice to be in the company of these guys, I will be carrying the torch for all of those that have fallen from grace.
MAJOR KEY: Who tf am I starting in my RB2 lol
MY PREDICTIONS- Round Two
(1) Joe vs (5) Wings
Joe, having survived his first upset, will not have to face another.
(2) Erik vs (3) Chuck
In a rematch of the 2016 final, I can only expect that with the Tyreek Hill and OBJ issues that black magic and we have a Cassidy-bowl.