Originally Posted On leagueofdegenerates.blogspot.com December 6, 2023
Original Author: Wings
Week 13
The Commissioner’s Report, Week 13:
And just like that… we’re in December. And with the holiday season fast approaching we are also staring down the barrel of another intense LOD playoffs. 5 degenerates have already punched their ticket to the dance, with one more to be decided next week. Who will be dancing a week from now and who will be there in spirit?
Scores and Stats:
| Week 13 | Oakland | |||
| Place | Team | PF | W/L | Points |
| 1 | Chuck | 211.2 | W | 25 |
| 2 | Wings | 192.6 | W | 19 |
| 3 | Nauch | 181.4 | W | 16 |
| 4 | Joe | 162.9 | L | 12 |
| 5 | Erik | 155.1 | L | 10 |
| 6 | Ryan | 150.8 | W | 9 |
| 7 | Gio | 149.8 | W | 7 |
| 8 | Bryan | 146.2 | L | 4 |
| 9 | Rob | 103.8 | L | 2 |
| 10 | Ant | 99.5 | L | 1 |
| Scoring Stats | ||||
| Period | Avg PF | Spread | Top Score | Low Score |
| This Week | 155.33 | 111.7 | 211.2 (CHU) | 99.5 (ANT) |
| Last Week | 168.00 | 81.5 | 211.7 (CHU) | 130.2 (ROB) |
| Difference | -12.67 | +30.20 | -0.5 | -30.7 |
| Season Average | 158.07 | 96.40 | 209.32 | 112.92 |
| Difference | -2.74 | +15.30 | +1.88 | -13.42 |
| 2022 Week 6 | 148.66 | 84.55 | 189.3 (GIO) | 104.75 (RYN) |
| Difference | +6.67 | +27.15 | +21.90 | -5.25 |
| 2023 CC Standings | Playoff Picture | |||||||||
| Place | Team | PTS | Behind | Interval | Place | Team | W-L | PF | ∆ | |
| 1 | Chuck | 193 | – | – | 1 (bye) | Chuck (z) | 10-3 | 2283.2 | – | |
| 2 | Wings | 162 | -31 | -31 | 2 (bye) | Wings (x) | 8-5 | 2206.4 | 2 GB | |
| 3 | Nauch | 156 | -37 | -6 | 3 | Joe (x) | 8-5 | 2093.9 | -112.5 | |
| 4 | Joe | 153 | -40 | -3 | 4 | Nauch (x) | 8-5 | 2069.99 | -23.91 | |
| 5 | Ryan | 148 | -45 | -5 | 5 | Gio (x) | 7-6 | 2106.9 | 1 GB | |
| 6 | Gio | 146 | -47 | -2 | 6 | Ryan | 6-7 | 2096.6 | -10.3 | |
| 7 | Erik | 121 | -72 | -25 | 7 | Erik | 5-8 | 2097.9 | 1 GB | |
| 8 | Bryan | 117 | -76 | -4 | 8 | Bryan | 5-8 | 2022.5 | -75.4 | |
| 9 | Rob | 115 | -78 | -2 | 9 | Rob (E) | 4-9 | 1866.99 | -155.51 | |
| 10 | Ant | 56 | -137 | -59 | 10 | Ant (E) | 4-9 | 1705.9 | -161.09 | |
Commish’s Analysis:
Congrats again to Chuck Cassidy on winning the League’s first Commissioner’s Cup! With 3 straight weeks atop the league, he quickly slammed the door on anyone else sneaking in at the last possible moment, and with it, has locked up the top seed in the league to boot. Although this was the worst possible outcome, I hope you all found this tournament to be an entertaining addition to the regular season, and if we want to keep it in the future would love to extend the payouts to at least third place to give more people something to fight for (all to be solved in the offseason).
Anyways, today I’ll be looking at our week 14 slate and will break down what to look out for as we conclude the regular season. Once games start, I will be updating our 2023 Playoff-inator in as real time as I can so you can follow the changes as we go.
Week 14 Playoff Picture
| Seed | Team | W / L | PF | PFD | Scenarios |
| 1 (bye) | Chuck | 10-3 | 2283.2 | – | 1 seed clinchedPlaying for first 11-win season in S.E. |
| 2 (bye) | Wings | 8-5 | 2206.4 | -76.8 | (x) Clinches bye with Win OR Joe L + Nauch L + Gio L OR Joe W/PFD + Nauch W/PFD + Gio W/PFD |
| 3 | Joe | 8-5 | 2093.9 | -112.5 | (x) Clinches bye with Win AND Wings L + Nauch L OR Wings W/PFD + Nauch W/PFD |
| 4 | Nauch | 8-5 | 2069.99 | -23.91 | (x) Clinches bye with Win AND Wings L + Joe L OR Wings L + Joe W/PFD OR Wings W/PFD |
| 5 | Gio | 7-6 | 2106.9 | – | (x) Clinches bye with Win AND Wings L/PFD + Joe L/PFD + Nauch L/PFD |
| 6 | Ryan | 6-7 | 2096.6 | -10.3 | Clinches playoff berth with Win OR Erik L + Bryan L OR Erik W/PFD + Bryan W/PFD |
| 7 | Erik | 5-8 | 2097.9 | – | Clinches playoff berth with Win AND Ryan L/PFD + Bryan L OR Ryan L/PFD+ Bryan W/PFD |
| 8 | Bryan | 5-8 | 2022.5 | -75.4 | Clinches playoff berth with Win AND Ryan L/PFD + Erik L/PFD |
| 9 | Rob | 4-9 | 1866.99 | -155.51 | (e) |
| 10 | Ant | 4-9 | 1705.9 | -161.09 | (e) |
Chuck vs. Nauch
Chuck is in uncharted territory. In the Sleeper Era, this is by far his best finish, with no more than 7 wins in any previous season, as well as his first bye. With this comes the opportunity for an 11-win season, which would be a first of any team in the SE and second only to Joe’s 12 wins during the 2018 ESPN season. Overall, a statement season for someone looking to recover from his heinous championship loss last year.
Nauch, meanwhile, is also making his return to the playoffs after a Gio championship ass whooping all the way back in 2020. With a win and loss by at least Wings, Nauch has the possibility of securing a bye. Though really, I’m sure beating Chuck brings its own satisfaction that silly seeding cannot replicate.
Prediction: someone wins this
Wings vs. Ant
Wings has punched his playoff ticket after completing a season sweep of Erik, extending his streak against him to 5-0 (fun fact: he hasn’t beaten Wings since 2019 😹). This week, the assignment is simple: don’t lose to Ant and he gets his first ever playoff bye, otherwise it’s in the hands of the PF Gods. Considering Wings’ streak of one-and-dones, avoiding the first round would be a godsend.
Ant decided that being garbage alone wasn’t good enough, that he’d need to stir up some controversy along with it. The cruel twist of fate being that Jameis did have to step in for Carr and is now looking like the starter for this matchup. While there may be some collusion accusations going around: 1) This is Ryan, he’s got heart; 2) Ant woulda… barely lost anyways with the Trevor Lawrence injury and; 3) you could have, you know, won more games to not be in this situation, the 6 seed is already looking like it’ll go to a sub-500 team anyways lol
Prediction: cmon, you know.
Joe vs. Bryan
Joe’s been in Utah for like a week and already adopted the full Chick Hicks persona. Unfortunately he had to face off against an actual racist last week and it showed big time. While Joe’s fallen out the bye, he can just as easily get it back with a win and some help. Otherwise, this is still a season to be proud of- 8 wins is already more than he got in the last 2 seasons combined (6).
Bryan’s certainly been in his “don’t care am raving/biking/*ahem*bouldering” bag for a while now, with 6 straight losses but somehow holding onto the faintest of playoff hopes if Mahomes has another bailout game in him. After inheriting a good team, getting a bye and coming within < 5 points of a championship appearance in his Rookie season, it’s a hard fall. Hopefully nobody starts a narrative out of this.
Prediction: This game reeks of “who can lose this harder.” I’m bricked for it.
Gio vs. Ryan
Gio snapped a pretty bad win streak of his own last week versus a floundering Rob, and while for now we’ll ignore that his team’s scored above 160 only once since week 5, at least he’s saved himself from his first losing season in the Sleeper Era and keeps his playoff streak alive that goes all the way back to his 2018 rookie season. In this Era, though, Gio’s proven he can win from any seed, winning his second title last year from the 5th seed and a 7-6 record. While Gio still has a longshot of making a bye week, his best guarantee of avoiding Chuck until the finals would be to lose by 10 to Ryan and secure the 6 seed in the process, but he wouldn’t do that on purpose, cause it goes against his agenda.
Ryan is lucky to be in this position. It’s been a rough back half of the season for him, really rough, but he controls his own destiny going into the final week, just needing a win to be in. If not, the PF gods may see fit to dish out Karma here. Wouldn’t it be poetic though, to just sneak into the playoffs and get Jettas back? It almost makes a grown man cry.
Prediction: Someone’s gonna be pissed off.
Erik vs. Rob
I got all my Erik dunking out of me, so we’re friends again! 🙂 While he sits a game out of the final playoff seed, Erik has the ever-so-slightest PF advantage over Ryan and a much easier matchup. The cards could be on the table for a week 13 miracle, let’s not forget a long 10 weeks ago Erik hung the points record on this man.
Rob’s got a wedding to plan. Godspeed brother.
Prediction: Often when mixing orange and purple, you will get a brown with a reddish tone to it. Depending on the tones you use, you may also get orange and purple variations and even some interesting pinks.
Postgame interviews:
None this week…. So here’s a cat pic!
